Boobs And Bees And PSAs

Warning: this post will end with a public service announcement.

A few weeks ago I was in the shower and noticed a mark on my chest. It was in a delicate location. Let’s just say that if a boob was a high school student body, this mark would have been a member of the most popular clique, but not the head cheerleader herself. Got it? Good. (I really have no problems with the actual names of human body parts, but one day my kids may read this and I’ve already scarred them enough.)

I made a doctor’s appointment right away because I knew this mark just wasn’t right. I had another weird patch on my arm too, but an arm is not as titillating (see what I did there) as above the navel lady parts, so I’m ignoring that for now. My doctor and I are both rather blunt so our conversation went something like this:

Me: I found a mark on my boob. It’s new, feels weird, and why don’t you just look at it.
Doc: Okay, let’s see.
Me: *lifts shirts, whips out breast*
Doc: Hmm, ya, that’s (something about keratin), not a problem right now, but could become a problem later on. I’m going to burn it off.
Me: Liquid nitrogen?
Doc: Yep. It’ll hurt, but not for too long. It stings at first and will be sore for a few hours.
Me: Great. *rolls eyes*

When I texted my hubby after it was over I think I said it was like being stung by ten angry bees with lava for venom, but I may have been exaggerating just a little. In reality it was not a big deal and well worth the relief I felt.

I realize that my eight plus years of breastfeeding four kids has desensitized me to the modesty most people feel when having a breast out on display (which is totally different than having both out at once, that takes a special kind of confidence), but I’d like to think that regardless of how shy or not I am about my body I would go to the doctor as soon as something wasn’t right. I have enough regard and respect for myself and the people that count on me to take care of myself.

So here’s my PSA: Ladies and gents, your health and wellness trump your modesty and embarrassment every single time. Take care of your body, it’s the only one you get. And for the love of Pete, wear sunscreen.